My Deepest, Darkest and Cruelest Prison
Today I discovered the greatest, deepest, the most destructive, and maybe the last of my prisons. Really, I did not discover it. Jesus had been taking me there.
This was the prison of my own rights. It was a deep and subconscious penitentiary, a moated and lofty castle of my rights, my life, my control, my religion, my opinions, my beliefs, my expectations, my dreams, my plans, my finances and schedules. This was the one fortress which I would not allow God in. I had built it when I had been hurt as a child, when fear and unbelief came in. It was the lofty refuge for me protecting myself. In the high citadel of my rights no one and nothing could hurt me. Not even God, Himself.
I had a glimpse of this mental fortress. It was a little drought stricken piece of land, incredibly dry and cracked. Rain had not fallen for many many years. There was one little sickly plant that had broken through its fissured terrain. It had kept me in bondage. I prayed today, and felt a rock hard place in my soul close to my heart ,where this land dwells for all people. It’s called hardness and embitterment of heart. Everybody has it.
As I intercessed in earnest, Jesus opened the lock to this prison and let me out. I know now that I can be healed and delivered.
Every person has this prison. Every human lives in the parched and barren land of his rights. He will do anything not to give it up. This is why most will not allow God in. It’s all about protecting this little parched piece of land. It’s the little place of safety. We think that we know better than God, as we pace in total darkness, in this our tiny castled dungeon, feeling very smart, smug and wise.
Little did I know, that protecting this little place, was my deepest, darkest and cruelest prison.
Many will die in this prison, shielding this tiny dust bowl with the last gasp of breath.
I wish that I would have surrendered earlier to the One who can be fully trusted, and who longed to get me out, and not served a 57 year sentence. I praise God that I am finally out, though. What about you?